Suffering

I have my share of sufferings, and I could say that more recently, I have suffered a lot. I have seen suffering among my family members, friends and people whom I do not even know. I happened to revisit the Book of Job and how he suffered.

Job was a wealthy man who own thousands of sheep and camels, hundreds of yoke of oxen and she asses accompanied by many of his servants. Job's children totaled to 10 plus his wife. Quite a large family. Then the day came when Satan said to God that Job is only loyal to him because of the his abundance. God then permitted Satan to torment Job but not allowing him to take his life. God was sure about Job's goodness.

In one day, Job lost all his livestock and servants to marauders and his children to natural catastrophe. All that was left was his wife. Despite all these, Job still remained loyal to God and never cursed him but blessed him. When Satan met with God again, He allowed him to test Job one more time and Satan inflicts Job with boils and skin disease. At this time, Job's wife told him to curse God and die. But Job never gave up and remained in God's trust and mercy (so to say the Will of God).

Then 3 of his friends came to mourn with him and they tried to analyze why these horrible things happened to Job. One even said that it may be because of a grave sin that Job committed and that his sufferings were not enough to pay for them. Job started to think about the Justice of God and how we as humans can never comprehend it on our level. At a certain point, God finally responded to Job also asking him to be brave. God showed Job how much power God has alone. Job acknowledges this unlimited power and that his knowledge is limited. God was pleased. In the end, God granted Job twice his wealth as before, new kids and was blessed with a very long life.

I admire Job's steadfastness. It is very difficult to remain faithful in times of struggle and great suffering. I am still in a situation as of the moment where I am suffering a great deal. One problem after the other, where one problem isn't resolved yet and here comes another one without giving me enough time to stand up. I am like a boxer being pounded left and right, punch after punch until I get knocked down, only to realize that it isn't just a boxing match but a mixed martial arts bout that even if I'm down, I am still being hit relentlessly... until I tap out and surrender.

In those moments of suffering, I learned that "we do not ask Why? Why me?" but how do I transform this suffering in to love.  It gives more meaning to suffering. I am also thinking about what Job's friends told him that maybe he sinned a great sin that's why God allows suffering to happen. I am led to think otherwise. I believe that God is a merciful God. As like the story of Job was told, God "allowed" or permitted Satan to do those things to Job for a "reason" and I think that our sufferings have different reasons. A reason tailor fitted for each one of us. I don't think that God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass on an anthill burning us ants. However, I do believe and concede to whatever His will is for me. If he wants to burn me then His will be done. It's a scary thought, but my intelligence cannot comprehend the greatness of God. I submit.

At times, when I talk to Him (in a prayerful gesture) I tell Him that I've had enough and if He could already save me from my predicament. I surrender. Enough already, I'm beat. Maybe sometimes this is just what we need to tell Him. 

I trust in Him and I am praying that my day of salvation will also come - - like Job's.
I am keeping the faith, most especially during my time of suffering.

"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."