On songwriting

I haven't been able to compose a song lately. I think the last time I did was back in October of 2013, and it is still 'unfinished' so to say. My lyrics are still in draft and the arrangement is at a blank. It's becoming more and more difficult for me to write a song unlike when I was in my teens until my late twenties. I think I've lost it! 

There's something missing. I can't quite put my finger on it. What's missing? 'What have I been doing wrong?' or a better question would be, 'What have I NOT been doing?' I keep on asking myself these questions. Have I ran out of chords and notes for me to find a tune? Are my melodies not in their right placement to produce beautiful harmonies? It used to be easy. I simply hum the tune that I have in my head and scribble down what I need to express. In minutes, sometimes, I am able to finish it. 

Music has been an expression of my life. This is where I 'share' what I feel inside. This is where I give my unadulterated self to each and everyone of you. It is my channel. I make songs for people, about that unforgettable experience, about my feelings, when I am angry, in doubt, troubled - - when I am happy and elated. I make songs for various kinds of reasons, but most of all, I make songs to share. Share a big part of what I think, what I know, what I am. I share a big part of me when I make a song. But why am I not able to write one now? Is it because I have nothing to share? I remember having a conversation with Edmund (my close friend and a long time drummer band mate of mine) in the past and we talked about a phrase that goes: "you cannot give what you do not have". Indeed we agreed on this premise that we cannot share something that is not even there, may it be an idea that we have, an experience we want to tell, or a conviction that we have burning inside. Is this true? Are we really convinced of this? Our nothingness, our emptiness... can we not share our "nothingness"? 

In these moments, I am pushed to think that I may not have anything to give (be it an experience of good or bad, a feeling, or an idea) that hinders me to make a new song. Did I lose that artistic side of me?  Have I forgotten how to transform these things in to a song? Have I lost my inspiration? Questions, questions, and more questions. 

I never really listened too much radio because what I'm listening to, affects the way I create my music. Although I listen to artists that have influenced my musicality, to help me construct my song the way I want it to be heard. In some occasions, I listen to new stuffs for me to discover new styles and ideas on how music is presented and accepted in the present. 

Like any audio player, I think I'm just at a 'pause', and I hope that I don't stay in that state for long. Because I do not know of any other way to express and share myself better than through music. If I will be giving something, I want to give my best. 

I have my notes from "Do to Do", and that is all that I need  :)

You may listen to some of my compositions by clicking this link.